Am I being dramatic or is life just really hard?

I literally have 30 minutes to type this baby up. I have so much to say and so little time. You may think two things after reading this post, man, what a negative person she is or laugh your head off, you choose. I must warn you this post is picture free for I can't get my computer to upload photos. All you have is my words.

It goes like this:

Lets be honest. Life is supposed to be difficult, correct? Do I find this or does it find me, that is the question. The last little while has been a hurricane and a rainbow all at once. I have so much to worry about, yet so much to be thankful for. I have days where I can't figure out if I'm happy or sad?

Let me just quickly go over my week, the kids had spring break. Am I a terrible mother when I cringe at the fact that "I" have to stimulate and entertain my kids for a week? It's hard. I have 4 kids 4 different ages 4 different personalities. What Alyssa wants to do is dumb to Brianna, Tatum's remarks anger Brianna. Alyssa bugs Tatum, Alyssa bugs Channing. It's Tatum's turn to play xbox kinect but Brianna pushed her out of the way which results in Tatum's dramatic cry, those that know her understand how not good this is. There is always 1 or 2 of the kids that don't like what is placed before them at the dinner table there for I'm told what a terrible cook I am and I need cooking lessons. This follows a 30 minute lecture from Keetch on how we need to be thankful that we even have food. Not sure if he's on my side or their's? So after breaking up every fight possible over ridiculous bull poop and after the kids staying up til 3 am and waking up at noon. I ask myself. Am I a terrible mother?

Now as many of you know I take care of my ill mother. She has been in and out of the hospital with an infection they can't seem to get rid of. Her immune system is really weak so getting over an illness is really difficult. I get nauseated now when I walk in the hospital. I am so sick of the hospital! I do however enjoy the peace and quiet ride over to the hospital because I often go by myself (its the little things). I am going to say though that I do have the best husband in the whole entire world and I will fight anyone who disagrees. You see, not only does he manage practically everything because I am an overwhelmed caretaker/mother/housekeeper/bum wiper, he himself is a bum wiper too. I came home from the store Saturday just before sending my mom back to the hospital (we had call the ambulance to transport her to the hospital our neighbors love us) I walked in her room and saw my cute hubby with a nose plug pinching his nose, confused as to what was going on he looked at me and smiled and said, I'm going to do it! Uh, going to do what? I asked. Just then my mom shouted out, I have diarrhea Tiff, I'm really sick. I could tell by how watery Keetch's eyes were and how red his face was that he had been gagging on the smell. So me being the ornery person that I am. I said, go for it! After hearing every amount of gagging noise I could possibly stand I relieved him of his duties and like I said before my mother went to the hospital for we couldn't get the diarrhea/fever under control. And she is at the hospital battling this infection.

In the meantime. I had my wisdom teeth taken out and found out from the obgyn that she found a lump on my cervix. Great just great! You're going to throw cancer at me now? She took a biopsy, to be frank cut into my cervix then stitched me up. (this was the day after I got my wisdom teeth pulled) and let me know she thinks its not a big deal but she will have my results in a week.

So my point. Whoever is playing this mean joke on me. It's not funny. In fact, why don't you go ahead and give me a year or two off. In fact how bout a year long vacation?

All I can say is..ok whats next? Bring it! Just like Tatum I'll cry til I win, you watch.

However, I do know this. I have a loving Heavenly Father who is doing everything in his power to teach me something. Trying to figure out what it is? That's the hard part. Instead of being scared and as cheesy as this may sound, I have my shield and I have my sword and nothing is going to bring me down. Like I said I have a lot a lot to be thankful for, so much I don't know what to do with it. So to dwell on the hard is pointless.

It's ok you can laugh. Hopefully you can relate. So laughing is acceptable.